Paling benci sama yang namanya midnight struck…. Perasaan Mellow yang gak jelas mendadak dateng; Gak pake permisi, gak pake basa basi. Lagian kenapa juga sih harus sekarang?? Malem minggu gitu lho… Ato mungkin ini Cuma salah satu gejala akut para jomblo yang minim kegiatan berarti. Settttan!!
Gak tau juga sih ada hubungannya sama Setan ato enggak…. Tapi Less Midnight Struck ini (Yess, less midnight karena ini baru jam 10.45) mungkin terjadi karena beberapa alas an:
1. Kenal sama orang baru yang sepertinya menjanjikan untuk diprospek. Tapi sepertinya Gw jumping way to fast to conclusion. Masih berharap kalo dia memang prospektif, tapi sekarang gak mau terlalu berharap. Takut sakit ati…. Lagi!!
2. Ketemu orang yang berkali kali Gw sampein rasa suka Gw ke dia, and the result….. fall flat. Walaupun jujur, bahkan setelah beberapa tahun, Gw masih menyimpan harapan yang sama kepada Dia. Mungkin pathetic; atau mungkin Gw yang gak mau berhenti berharap…. Moga aja ada kesempatan bagi harapan Gw untuk jadi nyata… Amiin
Another feeling of being abandoned and repelled is coming again. Try my best to get rid of them, but the other part of me kind of like wanting “it” to stay. Am I a sadomasochist that enjoying, or even worse needing, pain to satisfy me??? Ooowwhhh….. it makes me shiver just by saying the word. No… I know that I’m not a sadomasochist; I just prefer to be mellow for a while. Maybe by having this moment will makes me realize how precious a love is; and having someone for you is a privilege for every human to get, to have and to achieve
Cliché perhaps, but I am now looking - and still looking for sincerity. It is somewhere to be found. What I don’t know is whether I am looking for it in the right place or not?? Can my heart still able to detect sincerity?? Do I sincere?? I can only say “ I guess so..”
Another dream to have; another goal to achieve: Another hope to keep. Hoping another way will be open, another opportunity will be given and finally, another victory will be won…
It’s not just a dream; for sure it’s not a wishful thinking. It’s a future projection, yet also a pray…
Tuhan….. Tolong dengar pintaku, kabulkan do’aku dan jadikan aku hamba hamba yang bersyukur….
Aku berserah, tapi tidak menyerah…
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